College Application

I am a balla, a shot calla, and I make all the ladies holla! Cheetah's are like slugs to me. I am magnificent. I once fought a gorilla with one hand tied behind my back. I won. Not only am I in top phisycal condition, I am also a very good problem solver. I am clever. I like to ride my bicycle. I am famous in Indonesia. Last year I built a time machine. I used this time machine to go back in time and jam with Jerry Garcia. I even got to meet Janis Joplin. She thought I was rad. If you accept me into your fine learning establishment, it will be the best decision you have ever made in your entire life. Trust me I should know. I was raised by monks.

One Eyed Jack

I was sitting outside of my grandparents' Deli. It was my lunch break and I had just made my self a nice salami sandwich. Thats when I saw him , One Eyed Jack, The meanest mobster in the business. The rumor is, he's called One Eyed Jack because he lost his eye to a fish hook when he was a boy. He had a pale complexion and looked like a mad man. He was sitting in his car; A dark red monte carlo. He glared at me with his one eye, while puffing on his cigar. Just looking into his cold dead looking eye gave me goosebumps. He was wearing a classic mobster suit with the hat and everything. All of a sudden a man with a tommy gun in his hand, and a big sack of money runs out of the bank and they drive off. Later on the radio they were talking about the biggest heist of the year. One Eyed Jack and his partner who was unknown were now the most wanted men in the country, and I watched it happen right infront of the deli. I hope to be a mobster one day.

I am the Lazer Viking!

When asked "what super power would you want most?" most people would say something lame about wanting to fly, or something to do with being some kind of animal I dont know, but for me, its all about the lazer vision! Lazer vision is by far the coolest super power ever, no doubt about it! with lazer vision you can cook chickens way faster then actually cooking one. It also just makes chicken taste better cause its ballin. Also if you ever lock yourself out of your house you can just melt the lock with your eyes! Now thats extreme!!! When you have lazer vision if anyone makes fun of you for wearing sunglasses inside you can just take them off and melt their face off! No other super power even compares to lazer vison, I mean come on who wouldnt want to shoot lazers out of there eyes?