January 19, 2009

420 bad ass drive
Penticton British Columbia
Canada V2A6J7

to Mr Kleats @ central high school
123 mainstreet, sports town, British Columbia
V2A 1W3

Dear coach Kleats I have noticed lately that you are frequently late for soccer practices. I understand that you probly have alot of other things to do but so do parents and im sure all the parents and our children would very much appreciate if you could try and make it on time more often. I have also noticed that some of the players dont get as much playing time as others. All I ask is that you let all of the kids on the team play. I was also hoping that you could try and watch language around the kids.
It would be greatly appreciated if you listened to my suggestions.

Sincerley Geoff Vennard.

Dave Cook the Turkey

In the short story "Dave Cooks the Turkey", Stuart Mclean uses situational humor. One example of this is when Daves wife Morley explains that her "life is a train". She explains that she drags everyone from one place to another. "To school and to dance class and to now-it's time-to-get-up and now-it's-time-to-go-to-bed. I'm a train full of people who complain when you try get them into a bed and fight when you try to get them out of one. Thats my job." Many mothers could relate to this statement and would probly find it humorous. Another example of this is when Dave agrees to take care of the turkey. When he agrees to this he is not fully aware of what "taking care of it" really means. He did not know that he had to buy the turkey aswell as cook it. This is situational because Many men agree to do things without fully realizing what there getting themselves into. When Dave books a hotel room so that the hotel will cook his turkey he tells the clerk that he is "just checking in for the afternoon with my chick". When he turns around he sees his neighbour with his mother. This is also situational because everyone has said something emberassing and turned around only to find a neighbour or a family friend.

Things Change

Certain experiences mark the beginning of maturity. There will be lots of events that will happen in your life, and many of them will make you far more mature. Of course maturity comes with age , but there are some experiences along the way that help mature you aswell. There are good experiences and bad experiences. Bad experiences can be a pain in the ass but they also help mature you and sometimes show you what to do differently the next time.
Recently I have been falling behind on my english, and it kind of sucks. The other day I finally realized that I should buckle down and start actually doing work in the class. I feel that this event has made me more mature because i finally understand that i can't just slack off and get things handed to me. I have to work for it. It has also shown me that I need to find a better way to motivate myself to do things.
Another experience that has made me more mature is when I got my first guitar I really wanted to learn how to play. However when I first started taking lessons after the first couple weeks I wanted to give up. I wanted to learn it overnight. But like all things guitar takes lots of practice to gain skill. My parents convinced me to keep trying, and I am very glad that they did. I think sticking to guitar has made me more mature because it taught me to be a little more patient and stick things out.
These two experiences were important events in my life and have made me more mature. Im still immature in alot of ways I will admit. But I'm immature in a fun loving way. Everyone goes through different experiences that make their maturity. Everyone also has their own idea of maturity. What ever you believe is mature certain experiences in your life mark the beigining of maturity.

College Application

I am a balla, a shot calla, and I make all the ladies holla! Cheetah's are like slugs to me. I am magnificent. I once fought a gorilla with one hand tied behind my back. I won. Not only am I in top phisycal condition, I am also a very good problem solver. I am clever. I like to ride my bicycle. I am famous in Indonesia. Last year I built a time machine. I used this time machine to go back in time and jam with Jerry Garcia. I even got to meet Janis Joplin. She thought I was rad. If you accept me into your fine learning establishment, it will be the best decision you have ever made in your entire life. Trust me I should know. I was raised by monks.

One Eyed Jack

I was sitting outside of my grandparents' Deli. It was my lunch break and I had just made my self a nice salami sandwich. Thats when I saw him , One Eyed Jack, The meanest mobster in the business. The rumor is, he's called One Eyed Jack because he lost his eye to a fish hook when he was a boy. He had a pale complexion and looked like a mad man. He was sitting in his car; A dark red monte carlo. He glared at me with his one eye, while puffing on his cigar. Just looking into his cold dead looking eye gave me goosebumps. He was wearing a classic mobster suit with the hat and everything. All of a sudden a man with a tommy gun in his hand, and a big sack of money runs out of the bank and they drive off. Later on the radio they were talking about the biggest heist of the year. One Eyed Jack and his partner who was unknown were now the most wanted men in the country, and I watched it happen right infront of the deli. I hope to be a mobster one day.

I am the Lazer Viking!

When asked "what super power would you want most?" most people would say something lame about wanting to fly, or something to do with being some kind of animal I dont know, but for me, its all about the lazer vision! Lazer vision is by far the coolest super power ever, no doubt about it! with lazer vision you can cook chickens way faster then actually cooking one. It also just makes chicken taste better cause its ballin. Also if you ever lock yourself out of your house you can just melt the lock with your eyes! Now thats extreme!!! When you have lazer vision if anyone makes fun of you for wearing sunglasses inside you can just take them off and melt their face off! No other super power even compares to lazer vison, I mean come on who wouldnt want to shoot lazers out of there eyes?